Days off in Grand Junction, CO: Is Windows 8 really this bad or am I on some kind of hidden-camera reality TV show?

Statistics for today
Distance 0.00 kms 0.00 miles
Climbed 0 meters 0 feet
Statistics for trip to date
Distance 25,994.79 kms 16,152.54 miles
Climbed 272,102 meters 892,723 feet
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Thursday, April 17th, 2014

Best Buy is all out of little laptops. I find one across the street at Office Depot. When I get back to the motel and fire it up I am in total shock at how bad an operating system Windows 8 is: confusing, windows popping up everywhere, can't find anything, windows inexplicably lose focus, it constantly hangs, it seems like half-made for a tablet and half-made for a laptop, freakin' right-click is gone (one of the few features I liked about Windows), it's slow as death, etc... I can't believe how bad it is. My new laptop is so atrocious I alternate between wanting to throw it against a wall and bursting out into hysterical fits of laughter. Is this a practical joke? Is a TV host about to burst through the door to tell me they filmed me after secretly replacing my laptop's operating system with FrankenOS?

Sadly I come to grips with the fact that this might actually be reality I am experiencing. I write a scathing note to Microsoft's Facebook page then begin the long, slow, painful process of acceptance. Unfortunately I don't have an alternative. A MAC is too expensive for me to bike tour with (the likelihood of breaking it/losing it/getting it stolen is too high, as witnessed by last week's events), nobody seems to be selling off-the-rack Linux boxes these days, and a netbook is insufficient for my needs. Stuck with it I am.

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A water fountain with a bottle filler: brilliant!
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I'd say these pants are done. Found some replacements at REI.